Wednesday, December 10, 2003
If Radioactive Isotopes Didn't Give Me Superpowers, Maybe Chemo Will
I started chemotherapy two days ago. I had actually hoped to start back at work Monday, but found out from one surgeon last Friday that the "Janet is OK to go back to work" form has to be filled out by the plastic surgeon instead. So I spent Monday tooling around to the plastic surgeon's office to drop off the form, and then went to my very first chemotherapy session. I'd been at the office last Thursday for an appointment (during which the person who took my blood pressure noted with pleasure that it was up from the time before--which had been rather low--I neglected to tell her that's probably because I nearly smacked into somebody on the freeway on my way to the appointment...I came within five inches of rear-ending an SUV that suddenly slowed down in front of me due to an accident), and when I decided to go ahead with chemo, the oncology nurse was eager to set me up with appointments right away.
Ack.
On Monday, the nurse and the doctor both laughed at how cold my hands were. "They're just like yours, Doc!"
"Hers are clammy, though," he said.
I have an extreme aversion to needles, and am not happy at the prospect of eleven more sessions of having IVs poked into my hand, not to mention all the blood tests that are going to occur. Luckily, it actually wasn't a bad experience. The nurse was so chatty and friendly, it helped put me at ease. She's been doing this for many years and is extremely good at what she does. I got a dose of Kytril first (an anti-nausea medication), then one thing pushed into the IV from a syringe, something else in a drip bag thingy, and another syringe. At least they weren't shots.
I didn't suffer any nausea. I took the pill dose of Kytril the nurse gave me to take home that night. I was somewhat headachy that day, but took an ibuprofen. The next day I felt fine as well, although I did have a headache again. I could not tell if it seemed more like a sinus headache or a neck tension headache.
Today I felt headachy and had a weird general ache in my trunk. I can't tell if it's digestive, or back pain, or my kidneys, or what. I just feel generally achy. There's no nausea, though. No really bad digestive symptoms. Nothing but vague discomfort, which is not a big deal.
I'm very relieved. I hope this is the worst it gets. The nurse said it would be. She and the doctor both claim I shouldn't lose my hair. I feel stoopid caring as much about my hair as I do. But I've suffered a fundamental betrayal by my body, and the injustice is that treatment often attacks a person's confidence and self-image.
The isotope they shot me with to perform a bone scan on the orders of my surgeon disappointingly did not give me the ability to glow or become invisible or fly or teleport or anything useful like that. Maybe the chemicals sailing through my bloodstream will be more effective.
Ack.
On Monday, the nurse and the doctor both laughed at how cold my hands were. "They're just like yours, Doc!"
"Hers are clammy, though," he said.
I have an extreme aversion to needles, and am not happy at the prospect of eleven more sessions of having IVs poked into my hand, not to mention all the blood tests that are going to occur. Luckily, it actually wasn't a bad experience. The nurse was so chatty and friendly, it helped put me at ease. She's been doing this for many years and is extremely good at what she does. I got a dose of Kytril first (an anti-nausea medication), then one thing pushed into the IV from a syringe, something else in a drip bag thingy, and another syringe. At least they weren't shots.
I didn't suffer any nausea. I took the pill dose of Kytril the nurse gave me to take home that night. I was somewhat headachy that day, but took an ibuprofen. The next day I felt fine as well, although I did have a headache again. I could not tell if it seemed more like a sinus headache or a neck tension headache.
Today I felt headachy and had a weird general ache in my trunk. I can't tell if it's digestive, or back pain, or my kidneys, or what. I just feel generally achy. There's no nausea, though. No really bad digestive symptoms. Nothing but vague discomfort, which is not a big deal.
I'm very relieved. I hope this is the worst it gets. The nurse said it would be. She and the doctor both claim I shouldn't lose my hair. I feel stoopid caring as much about my hair as I do. But I've suffered a fundamental betrayal by my body, and the injustice is that treatment often attacks a person's confidence and self-image.
The isotope they shot me with to perform a bone scan on the orders of my surgeon disappointingly did not give me the ability to glow or become invisible or fly or teleport or anything useful like that. Maybe the chemicals sailing through my bloodstream will be more effective.
