Tuesday, November 22, 2005

More Questions With No Answers

Will I start to feel better soon?

Will the new pain medication keep from making me ill so that I don't have to worry that the involuntary muscular spasms from heaving the remnants of last night's dinner and this morning's dose of medication into the sink will cause my hip agonizing pain?

Will I give up trying to go up and down the stairs altogether? I thought about cancelling the PET scan today because everything is so hard. I did actually cancel my first appointment for today and sent my mom instead to pick up a new prescription for oxycontin, which gives me something in common with Rush Limbaugh, who also got people to get his drugs for him. Getting down the stairs and into the car was hard. Luckily the hospital has wheelchairs, but they had to move me several times. First they loaded me into a chair in the scanner trailer (sort of like the one I thought was going to take me to Iowa for weird medical testing in some corn field), then they made me get out of the chair and use the little peoples' room (apparently the isotope collects in the bladder and obscures what they are trying to image), then load me onto a narrow table. After they were done, there was an ER nurse to help move me back onto the wheelchair.

I wonder what they saw in the image to go get a nurse.

I wonder how fragile the damaged bits really are. Brian wonders this, too. He said he looked at the ex-rays today but doesn't really know what it means because nobody has explained them.

The reason people shy away from asking things is that they are afraid of the answers. This I understand.

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