Thursday, October 26, 2006
Taking Away my Eyelash Glue is Keeping America Safe
I had heard that the airlines were being a bit more lax regarding how many fluids, gels, creams and goops one can take on a plane, so I was not terribly paranoid about packing my makeup in my carry-on bag.
As I stood in line for the security screening, an airline employee held up a one-quart plastic baggie to demonstrate how many liquids can be taken on a plane. "No more than three ounces of any particular substance," she said. "If your drink is more than three ounces, you cannot take it on the plane." I don't know of anyone who would carry a drink smaller than three ounces. "If what you have does not fit into a ziplock baggie, you cannot take it on the plane."
When I got up to the security gate, I decided to risk wearing my hoodie and scarf instead of taking them off with my jacket. (I've gained some weight recently and am feeling blobby.) My carry-on fluids, gels, creams and goops would fit easily in a ziplock baggie.
I got through the screening, only to have my bag searched--it turns out that not only must your fluids, gels, creams and goops fit into a ziplock baggie, but you must have the ACTUAL BAGGIE. So I watched as many dollars' worth of cosmetics got confiscated. The airline screener tucked my lashes back into my makeup bag, but kept the glue that I need to hold them on. My foundation, eyeliner and two lip glosses (one of them was Clinique, which is the real bummer) were likewise confiscated. She explained to me that I could put them in one of my carry-on bags and check it through.
You mean my open-top striped half-tote, or the library's laptop case?
America, you may rest easy and feel more secure in our fight against terrorism knowing that I will spend the weekend at my library conference in Nashville looking ugly.
As I stood in line for the security screening, an airline employee held up a one-quart plastic baggie to demonstrate how many liquids can be taken on a plane. "No more than three ounces of any particular substance," she said. "If your drink is more than three ounces, you cannot take it on the plane." I don't know of anyone who would carry a drink smaller than three ounces. "If what you have does not fit into a ziplock baggie, you cannot take it on the plane."
When I got up to the security gate, I decided to risk wearing my hoodie and scarf instead of taking them off with my jacket. (I've gained some weight recently and am feeling blobby.) My carry-on fluids, gels, creams and goops would fit easily in a ziplock baggie.
I got through the screening, only to have my bag searched--it turns out that not only must your fluids, gels, creams and goops fit into a ziplock baggie, but you must have the ACTUAL BAGGIE. So I watched as many dollars' worth of cosmetics got confiscated. The airline screener tucked my lashes back into my makeup bag, but kept the glue that I need to hold them on. My foundation, eyeliner and two lip glosses (one of them was Clinique, which is the real bummer) were likewise confiscated. She explained to me that I could put them in one of my carry-on bags and check it through.
You mean my open-top striped half-tote, or the library's laptop case?
America, you may rest easy and feel more secure in our fight against terrorism knowing that I will spend the weekend at my library conference in Nashville looking ugly.
Labels: airlines, airport, conference, library, makeup, Nashville, terrorism
Comments:
Oh come ON. Everyone knows that Janet's lipgloss isn't an explosive. It's a LASER. She could use it from ANYWHERE if she wanted to, and she isn't going to use it on a plane she's currently inside of! People these days! They make me want to blow something up.
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