Monday, October 01, 2007
From One Indignity to Another
Turn away (once again), ye who are squeamish regarding digestive issues.
In light of my previous rear-endal discomfort, doctors have prescribed for me stool-softeners and have recommended drinking tons of water.
I am not, and have never been, a big water drinker. I am not a big drinker of any kind of liquid--with the exception of Longhorn Steakhouse's strawberry lemonade, which for some reason makes me suck it down like there's no tomorrow (I think there's crack in it). Realistically, I can not go to Longhorn to get the appropriate liquids. I just can't drink what I am supposed to. Also, for the past year, I have not required, um, "softening." I've stockpiled an emergency reserve of Immodium, instead.
In fact, I took some generic equivalent for Immodium this past Monday so that I could sleep without fear.
Then Tuesday came, and I went for Adriamycin. I was thrilled to have no nausea, and ate what I wanted.
Then Wednesday came, then Thursday. By Thursday night I was feeling uncomfortably full and heartburn-y. Friday I woke up, feeling swollen to at least twice my normal size and as if the alien were about to burst from my stomach any moment.
I had to call in "constipated" to work. Luckily they do not ask me why I am calling in, unless it's an absence long enough to require a doctor's note.
So I tried those softeners. I tried to drink liquids, but there was barely enough room in my torso for my lungs to wiggle sideways and get a tiny amount of air; I couldn't be expected to chug any number of eight-ounce glasses. That's just crazy talk. I sipped teaspoonfulls here and there. I tried softeners with senna, a "gentle" vegetable laxative. The net result of this was further bloating with stomach cramps.
Over the weekend I continued trying these mild therapies, continued trying to suck down more than four ounces of liquid in a day, and got very, very hungry, which only made my stomach discomfort worse.
Bloated AND starving! That's just ridiculous.
To make matters worse, Brian has been dealing with a cold, and I didn't want to be exposed, so I pretty much holed up all weekend, which got very depressing.
Yesterday some pellets did start coming out, which is better than nothing, but insufficient. There's nothing quite so demoralizing as straining for what seems like hours only to have three or four tiny pellets plip into the bowl as a result. I needed something more effective.
Since I was released from my month-long vacation at the hospital with any number of frightening narcotics, I also happen to have some bottles of fizzy magnesium citrate. For anyone who has not experienced magnesium citrate, I am telling you now that you do not want to. The only more brutal treatment of one's bowels I can think of relates to the method by which King Edward II of England was executed at Berkeley Castle.
I kept regarding the bottle. It kept regarding me. "Pleasant cherry taste." I most certainly do NOT believe the dosage. This morning I emailed Lita and asked for her advice. She called back and recommended going with milk of magnesia instead, because the magnesium citrate is quite strong. If I did have to go there, maybe try just a spoonful at a time.
Luckily, I found a bottle of milk of magnesia in the cupboard and cheerfully took the maximum dose of that instead. About two hours later I wasn't quite so cheerful. Now I'm back to being in bed, praying for sleep. It did its work, but instead of worrying about the alien bursting out of my belly, I am worried about battery acid shooting out of my hiney.
Tomorrow I get Adriamycin again. I wonder if I'm going to have to do this all over again.
In light of my previous rear-endal discomfort, doctors have prescribed for me stool-softeners and have recommended drinking tons of water.
I am not, and have never been, a big water drinker. I am not a big drinker of any kind of liquid--with the exception of Longhorn Steakhouse's strawberry lemonade, which for some reason makes me suck it down like there's no tomorrow (I think there's crack in it). Realistically, I can not go to Longhorn to get the appropriate liquids. I just can't drink what I am supposed to. Also, for the past year, I have not required, um, "softening." I've stockpiled an emergency reserve of Immodium, instead.
In fact, I took some generic equivalent for Immodium this past Monday so that I could sleep without fear.
Then Tuesday came, and I went for Adriamycin. I was thrilled to have no nausea, and ate what I wanted.
Then Wednesday came, then Thursday. By Thursday night I was feeling uncomfortably full and heartburn-y. Friday I woke up, feeling swollen to at least twice my normal size and as if the alien were about to burst from my stomach any moment.
I had to call in "constipated" to work. Luckily they do not ask me why I am calling in, unless it's an absence long enough to require a doctor's note.
So I tried those softeners. I tried to drink liquids, but there was barely enough room in my torso for my lungs to wiggle sideways and get a tiny amount of air; I couldn't be expected to chug any number of eight-ounce glasses. That's just crazy talk. I sipped teaspoonfulls here and there. I tried softeners with senna, a "gentle" vegetable laxative. The net result of this was further bloating with stomach cramps.
Over the weekend I continued trying these mild therapies, continued trying to suck down more than four ounces of liquid in a day, and got very, very hungry, which only made my stomach discomfort worse.
Bloated AND starving! That's just ridiculous.
To make matters worse, Brian has been dealing with a cold, and I didn't want to be exposed, so I pretty much holed up all weekend, which got very depressing.
Yesterday some pellets did start coming out, which is better than nothing, but insufficient. There's nothing quite so demoralizing as straining for what seems like hours only to have three or four tiny pellets plip into the bowl as a result. I needed something more effective.
Since I was released from my month-long vacation at the hospital with any number of frightening narcotics, I also happen to have some bottles of fizzy magnesium citrate. For anyone who has not experienced magnesium citrate, I am telling you now that you do not want to. The only more brutal treatment of one's bowels I can think of relates to the method by which King Edward II of England was executed at Berkeley Castle.
I kept regarding the bottle. It kept regarding me. "Pleasant cherry taste." I most certainly do NOT believe the dosage. This morning I emailed Lita and asked for her advice. She called back and recommended going with milk of magnesia instead, because the magnesium citrate is quite strong. If I did have to go there, maybe try just a spoonful at a time.
Luckily, I found a bottle of milk of magnesia in the cupboard and cheerfully took the maximum dose of that instead. About two hours later I wasn't quite so cheerful. Now I'm back to being in bed, praying for sleep. It did its work, but instead of worrying about the alien bursting out of my belly, I am worried about battery acid shooting out of my hiney.
Tomorrow I get Adriamycin again. I wonder if I'm going to have to do this all over again.
Labels: Adriamycin, Brian, constipation, Lita
Comments:
Would your docs let you try enemas instead? It's not altogether pleasant to contemplate, but sometimes these problems are easily resolved by attacking it from the "other end". The Fleet brand has a good rep.
# posted by 
: 7:53 PM
: 7:53 PM
If my absolute neutrophil count is down, they won't consider allowing a rectal exam or enema. Today my count was high enough, but I don't want to go that route unless I absolutely have to.
Another option: Mineral oil, blarrrggghh. And 'Depends.' The fun never stops!
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Another option: Mineral oil, blarrrggghh. And 'Depends.' The fun never stops!
