Friday, October 28, 2005
What I plan to be for Halloween
For Halloween I plan to be a photon torpedo. I will be arriving at the hospital at 5:00, will be injected with contrast dye, and will be loaded into the torpedo bay where they do MRI scans.
I had an MRI last Wednesday, and the report showed some possible "activity of the L4 and L5; results inconclusive." They recommended a repeat, this time with contrasting dye.
At least this time I will know to park by the West entrance. Last time I was unaware that they wanted me to sign in at the west lobby, so I walked in the main entrance and had to negotiate several very long hallways. Then they made me walk down several more long hallways to get to Radiology. Then the MRI guy came and got me, and led me down a bunch of other corridors, until we ended up in what looked like a loading dock (complete with a hydraulic lift), and a big industrial door which slides up and down and looked like the back of an 18 wheel semi. I swear to god for a moment I thought I was being abducted.
"They're going to load me onto a truck, take me to Iowa, and perform heinous medical experiments!" Yes, I have probably seen too many episodes of X-Files. (When I related this story to a colleague, I had gotten as far as mentioning the loading dock area, when she blurted out, "You're just like Scully! You're going to end up on a rail car with probes sticking out of you!" I'm not the only one.)
November 3 I will be having my second-ever bone scan. This time the radioactive isotope will cause a mutation granting me super powers; I'm certain of it. I deserve to have super powers. I will try to use them for good and not for evil, although I'm really hoping I gain the ability to electrocute people.
I had an MRI last Wednesday, and the report showed some possible "activity of the L4 and L5; results inconclusive." They recommended a repeat, this time with contrasting dye.
At least this time I will know to park by the West entrance. Last time I was unaware that they wanted me to sign in at the west lobby, so I walked in the main entrance and had to negotiate several very long hallways. Then they made me walk down several more long hallways to get to Radiology. Then the MRI guy came and got me, and led me down a bunch of other corridors, until we ended up in what looked like a loading dock (complete with a hydraulic lift), and a big industrial door which slides up and down and looked like the back of an 18 wheel semi. I swear to god for a moment I thought I was being abducted.
"They're going to load me onto a truck, take me to Iowa, and perform heinous medical experiments!" Yes, I have probably seen too many episodes of X-Files. (When I related this story to a colleague, I had gotten as far as mentioning the loading dock area, when she blurted out, "You're just like Scully! You're going to end up on a rail car with probes sticking out of you!" I'm not the only one.)
November 3 I will be having my second-ever bone scan. This time the radioactive isotope will cause a mutation granting me super powers; I'm certain of it. I deserve to have super powers. I will try to use them for good and not for evil, although I'm really hoping I gain the ability to electrocute people.
Labels: bone scan, Halloween, hospital, MRI, star trek, superpowers, X-Files
