Sunday, May 21, 2006
An Official Junkie
After talking with Lita this past Friday, I feel slightly more at ease. Brian called her out of concern, and she gave me a call to find out how I was doing. Don't get me wrong--I'm still unhappy with having to be on chemotherapy again when I had hoped an alternative might work, and I have been rather weepy about my situation in general, but at least I'm no longer climbing the walls and have been able to sleep.
She reminded me that the chemo was something they had actually wanted to start with, but I was so sick in November when I first came to see Dr. Hayes that I wouldn't have been able to tolerate it. So they started hormone therapy to buy some time and did the radiation. Now that I'm stronger and feeling well, the time is good. The hope is to beat back the tumors and the chemo (combined with another drug that inhibits the growth of new blood vessels, which tumors tend to create to feed themselves) has the potential to shrink things so that they are undetectable. Of course there's no way to know if this will happen--it might not, in which case they'll try something else--but at least there's a chance. She doesn't expect my immune system to be compromised, and so far I haven't felt any nausea or other symptoms aside from some sinus pain and general digestive unrest.
It also occurred to me that I hadn't changed my fentanyl patch in something like four or five days. Lita made me promise to change it immediately--I was probably undergoing withdrawal, which can make people extremely agitated and restless. So I did, and sure enough, I feel more calm and have been able to rest. It's official: I'm hooked on little narcotic patches. I remember trying to give up caffeine one year for lent. I had terrible withdrawal headaches, but this feeling was so much worse.
She reminded me that the chemo was something they had actually wanted to start with, but I was so sick in November when I first came to see Dr. Hayes that I wouldn't have been able to tolerate it. So they started hormone therapy to buy some time and did the radiation. Now that I'm stronger and feeling well, the time is good. The hope is to beat back the tumors and the chemo (combined with another drug that inhibits the growth of new blood vessels, which tumors tend to create to feed themselves) has the potential to shrink things so that they are undetectable. Of course there's no way to know if this will happen--it might not, in which case they'll try something else--but at least there's a chance. She doesn't expect my immune system to be compromised, and so far I haven't felt any nausea or other symptoms aside from some sinus pain and general digestive unrest.
It also occurred to me that I hadn't changed my fentanyl patch in something like four or five days. Lita made me promise to change it immediately--I was probably undergoing withdrawal, which can make people extremely agitated and restless. So I did, and sure enough, I feel more calm and have been able to rest. It's official: I'm hooked on little narcotic patches. I remember trying to give up caffeine one year for lent. I had terrible withdrawal headaches, but this feeling was so much worse.
Labels: Brian, chemo, Dr. Hayes, fentanyl, Lita
