Monday, April 09, 2007
Barium in T-minus 54 minutes
Blargh, blargh, blargh.
Really it's not the flavor that's quite so bad. Berry barium tastes like berry Tums. It's that barium has this bizarre oily, foamy texture, is difficult to drink quickly, sits in one's gut like a brick, and then tries to exit the body all at once. Horrible.
Then there's the I.V. insertion for the contrast dye: the first attempt to jam a needle into my scarred veins will invariably fail. As will the second. And the third, at which point they are obligated to go get somebody else to try. I will probably end today with multiple stab wounds to the arm.
I'm also hungry and not allowed to eat anything before the test. Now I am imagining that I can feel a dull ache in my liver region, but it's probably that I'm hungry. Of course after consuming a giant pile of barium I won't feel like eating anything, particularly since what gets caught in the barium might try to exit at the same time.
I hope the scan does not show horrible, massive tumor growth. I hate that there is no other way to get this type of data. I've asked whether MRIs or PET or some other scan can do what the CT scan does, but was told no. I'm not entirely sure I believe it; there's probably some sweetheart deal with barium drink manufacturing companies to suppress other imaging technologies so that they can continue to make a profit on making people drink nasty stuff. Or the iodine contrast dye manufacturers, now that people are more likely to have Neosporin than iodine in their medicine cabinets, are holding on for dear life to their monopoly of contrast imaging. It's all about the money; I just know it.
Capitalist bastards.
Really it's not the flavor that's quite so bad. Berry barium tastes like berry Tums. It's that barium has this bizarre oily, foamy texture, is difficult to drink quickly, sits in one's gut like a brick, and then tries to exit the body all at once. Horrible.
Then there's the I.V. insertion for the contrast dye: the first attempt to jam a needle into my scarred veins will invariably fail. As will the second. And the third, at which point they are obligated to go get somebody else to try. I will probably end today with multiple stab wounds to the arm.
I'm also hungry and not allowed to eat anything before the test. Now I am imagining that I can feel a dull ache in my liver region, but it's probably that I'm hungry. Of course after consuming a giant pile of barium I won't feel like eating anything, particularly since what gets caught in the barium might try to exit at the same time.
I hope the scan does not show horrible, massive tumor growth. I hate that there is no other way to get this type of data. I've asked whether MRIs or PET or some other scan can do what the CT scan does, but was told no. I'm not entirely sure I believe it; there's probably some sweetheart deal with barium drink manufacturing companies to suppress other imaging technologies so that they can continue to make a profit on making people drink nasty stuff. Or the iodine contrast dye manufacturers, now that people are more likely to have Neosporin than iodine in their medicine cabinets, are holding on for dear life to their monopoly of contrast imaging. It's all about the money; I just know it.
Capitalist bastards.
Labels: barium, CT scan, IV, liver
Comments:
Janet, You are awesome! I just love reading your blog. You made me laugh when I've been doing everything I can all morning to keep myself from crying. Good Luck and Godspeed with those scans! Nat
# posted by 
: 10:47 AM
: 10:47 AM
Janet, just want you to know how much I have enjoyed reading your blog. I even went back to the archives and started from the begining. I check it weekly and find myself to be disappointed if you don't update it quickly enough :) - Good luck with your scans today! Sending good vibes your way. Paige (YSC;Challa)
# posted by : 12:00 PM
: 12:00 PM
I'm glad you've enjoyed reading what's here. Humor is my coping mechanism; if I didn't laugh about the stuff going on, I probably wouldn't be able to do much more than curl up in a fetal position chanting, "This is not happening...this is not happening..."
I only do THAT when my tv shows get preempted by sporting events. ;)
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I only do THAT when my tv shows get preempted by sporting events. ;)
