Thursday, July 12, 2007
Family Wedding: Hi, I'm the one with Cancer
A few weeks ago Brian and I traveled to Midland, Michigan to see Brian's cousin Tom marry Amy, a delightful person who was a lovely, radiant bride. The wedding was held outdoors at Dow Gardens. It threatened to rain but then the clouds passed over and it was actually pretty nice. The bridesmaids looked great, the groomsmen's tuxedos were very sharp, and the flower girls had the coolest dresses ever: they had loose flower petals encased in swathes of tulle, which made them somewhat resemble little snowglobes with lavender-colored snow. (Both dresses, I believe, sprung leaks and the poor girls were dripping petals at the reception.)
Anyway, going around meeting Brian's relatives after the ceremony, many people said something resembling this: "So you're Janet. I've heard so much about you! "
But what I heard was, "So you're Janet. You're the one with cancer! " Ordinarily I'd make a joke about how I hoped they'd heard only good things, but I'm pretty sure that's not the case and it seemed a tad bit awkward.
I don't personally mind if people know, and I'm fine with sharing details (if people really want them). I can go on quite at length about my experience and treatments, but that particular day really didn't seem the appropriate time. I thought I was going to go to an event that would be all about somebody else and new beginnings and such. Instead, all day I felt like it was CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER.
Brian's aunt is a survivor and wanted to talk at the reception about her support group. When we took our leave to go home, the bride (whom I had never met nor spoken to before that day) asked how my treatments were going. I know people mean well, but is there no escape?
On the plus side, Brian and I got to dance. I didn't get to dance at my own wedding because I was using a walker back then.
Anyway, going around meeting Brian's relatives after the ceremony, many people said something resembling this: "So you're Janet. I've heard so much about you! "
But what I heard was, "So you're Janet. You're the one with cancer! " Ordinarily I'd make a joke about how I hoped they'd heard only good things, but I'm pretty sure that's not the case and it seemed a tad bit awkward.
I don't personally mind if people know, and I'm fine with sharing details (if people really want them). I can go on quite at length about my experience and treatments, but that particular day really didn't seem the appropriate time. I thought I was going to go to an event that would be all about somebody else and new beginnings and such. Instead, all day I felt like it was CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER.
Brian's aunt is a survivor and wanted to talk at the reception about her support group. When we took our leave to go home, the bride (whom I had never met nor spoken to before that day) asked how my treatments were going. I know people mean well, but is there no escape?
On the plus side, Brian and I got to dance. I didn't get to dance at my own wedding because I was using a walker back then.
Comments:
Janet, I think you underestimate how many people read your blog. Clearly it shows how popular your blog is that everyone has heard of you.
Having been at your wedding & met many of Brian's relatives, I'd have to say that, "So you're Janet. I've heard so much about you! " was probably more from the, "I've known Brian his whole life & #1 I wonder who this 'Janet' person he is so infatuated with is & #2 I wonder who this 'Janet' person is that is so infatuated with my goofy/quirky/odd/nutty/fill in your own adjective brother/cousin/nephew, etc."
At least that's what everyone seemed to be talking about at your wedding. (Especially when recounting hearing of your engagement & Brian's mother proclaiming - with upraised arms as if in thanks to the wonders of the universe, no less - "YES! FINALLY!")
Plus, Todd is right - your blog is undoubtedly popular, gives us all some hope, makes us laugh & cry at the same time and for those who wouldn't otherwise know you at all, is a wonderful gift. I truly wish you didn't have to go through what you do & there's no reason you have to share with everyone, but for those of us who do or don't know you & read each entry, we are thankful that you do share.
I know I would be so much less of everything if I hadn't known you for all these years. GAWD - And you thought YOU were getting sappy in your old age! I know I've sort of missed your point here, but maybe a different perspective is helpful. Plus, the day being about new beginnings - you got to dance! Cancer, schmancer - good for you!
And, sadly, there is no escape from an illness unless you know people well enough that they know more to talk about with you or know you well enough that you can easily let them know to change the subject. At least they didn't ignore you or run & hide so they didn't "catch" it.
Post a Comment
At least that's what everyone seemed to be talking about at your wedding. (Especially when recounting hearing of your engagement & Brian's mother proclaiming - with upraised arms as if in thanks to the wonders of the universe, no less - "YES! FINALLY!")
Plus, Todd is right - your blog is undoubtedly popular, gives us all some hope, makes us laugh & cry at the same time and for those who wouldn't otherwise know you at all, is a wonderful gift. I truly wish you didn't have to go through what you do & there's no reason you have to share with everyone, but for those of us who do or don't know you & read each entry, we are thankful that you do share.
I know I would be so much less of everything if I hadn't known you for all these years. GAWD - And you thought YOU were getting sappy in your old age! I know I've sort of missed your point here, but maybe a different perspective is helpful. Plus, the day being about new beginnings - you got to dance! Cancer, schmancer - good for you!
And, sadly, there is no escape from an illness unless you know people well enough that they know more to talk about with you or know you well enough that you can easily let them know to change the subject. At least they didn't ignore you or run & hide so they didn't "catch" it.
# posted by 
: 11:45 PM
: 11:45 PM 
