Janet's Blog

The orthodontist told my parents that the appliance I had to wear as a kid (despite severe allergies that made breathing through my nose impossible)--and which my mom eventually stepped on and put a crack in one night because I tended to spit the thing out in my sleep--would magically make my jaw grow to correct my overbite in the time of the mythical "growth spurt."

I am roughly five feet tall. Dr. Zamboni, you are a stinking liar.

I am very old but got braces on Monday. I feel fairly ridiculous and sound pathetic. It's also pretty uncomfortable right now; I sense that dinner will consist of mashed potatoes.

Nobody but my dental professionals and myself (and my cousin's three year old daughter, and some of my former students, and the internet dude who saw a picture I'd posted who unkindly suggested that I have teeth like Chewbacca) really ever have any issues with what my teeth look like. "What did you do THAT for?" I have been asked multiple times since yesterday.

Some combination of vanity and a desire to be able to look at myself in a mirror/photograph without seeing



I suppose. The irony being, my least favorite feature is now going to be incredibly conspicuous for the next two years.

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